Paralyzing Kings.....

When I was on myspace back in 2005 I spent a lot of time talking to friends, like everyone else, but I spent even more time in groups chatting with total strangers. I used to do text based roleplaying and it was a lot of fun. I sometimes miss the interactions I had with all those people. I want to try and replicate it but every attempt just feels wrong or weird.

I used a picture of Kabuto as my avatar for everything and went by my RL nickname Smead.

I was a ninja training for the chuunin exam, I was a jedi in the great sith war, I was a friend and an enemy.
I'll never have that experience again. Some people might not understand how someone could spend time doing that but I don't care.

Sitting at my desk pretending I was a ninja scheming and plotting against other people. Having mock battles and sharing dorms with other people. Going to parties and interacting with other like minded people.

It might be weird but I enjoyed it. I wish I could go back and read some of the old conversations but I'm sure all that text has been deleted after Myspaces death.

Hate Me

We ended up being nothing. This is how these things always turn out. Our lives intertwined for a short time, shorter than I had hoped.

Insanity

I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. My dreams are getting more and more wrong. My day to day life is tearing away at my soul. I still wish to die in my sleep. Willing my brain to shut off and just stop waking me the next day. 

I want to run away again. If I did I'd be letting people down, which would hurt me even more. I don't see the point in even taking my medication either. There isn't a point.