Next Door

I reminisced back to when we were kids,
when I wanted nothing but you.
All the pining and the dreaming.
All the tears and wishful thinking.
How I knew it'd be you and me,
and how that never came to be.

The longing for your touch
and the smell of your hair.
How you rode your bike to my house,
on the road with no care.
It's been almost twenty years
since we first met.
Imagine how things would be
if we had been wed.
Or simply kissed
under the clear night sky,
one night by the lake
or the sheets on your bed.

At 9 years old, I fell in love with a girl.
She was the center, the whole of my world.
It's been years since we took time to chat.
Maybe now, after all this time I'll get you back,
In my life or perhaps just a passing glance.
At the woman I hoped would hold onto my hands.

Leave me alone.

If the last six months of my life has showed me anything it's that relationships are never meant to last. Only the bond of family and blood will transcend strife and time; all others will ultimately fall to the wayside. Those of us not strong enough to jettison a failed relationship and move forward are weak and need to evaluate their strength of will.

I have grown from a year ago and have become the most self seficient emotionally, mentally and physically I have ever been. No longer needing the companionship of another to drive my motives, I have transcended my dependency.

I wish to live alone and move at my own pace, no longer relying or depending on others for my happiness or well being. As I have come to learn, you can't depend on anyone else in the long term.

Fractures form very easily and grow exponentially.