Deathly Hollow

i'm going to finish my book series


then kill myself.

Reminisce on the past

people are living their lives and I watch on from the shadows wishing I knew how to be like them.

Sand in the Hourglass

I want to self destruct and watch you as the pieces fall between your fingers. Stare as the world you felt collapse finally falls away. The sense of security you once had now disintegrated and blown away in the wind. I'd leave you with the gift of pain and distress. Not knowing how long it would last, but wishing it would cut deep even for an instant. I wanted to destroy something. I chose you.

You should have left when you had the chance. You should have avoided this. You are a fool. You deserve this. Having me fall apart in front of you as you wish it to end.

Under my skin the time bomb ticks. Closer and closer I inch to the precipice, dragging you along, wishing to jump onto the sharp rocks. Carrying your weight with me I descend. You hold on tightly to me while trying to keep hold of the cliff. Your choice comes down to letting me fall or losing everything yourself. Your grip begins to falter and you notice the hollow look in my eyes. I'm a lost cause, yet you can't let go. Inside I've already plunged into the darkness, yet you wish you to hold on to the empty shell.

You should have let me go. You could have left this. You are too proud. It will be your downfall.

My body disintegrates and You are left with a feeling of dread. You wasted so much time and now you regret your decisions. This was my goal. To destroy something beautiful. You were foolish enough to take the bait. I don't feel remorse for you. I laugh a cold dark laugh as I wither away, watching you fall to pieces.

I am the bringer of sadness. I am nothing. I will drain you of your life. I am no longer alive.

Just out of reach.

I uttered you to the wind and the feeling died inside. I let it escape me, no longer letting it bottle up inside. This exodus is welcome as I no longer long to be corrupted by you. I take this emptiness with open arms as it fills me unwillingly. Against my wants or wishes it consumes me. Replaces the corridors of my soul that echoed your vision. You're just a stamp on the wall among old stickers of past lovers. Nothing more but a flash of light that blinds my past looking eyes. The openness of which I feel comes in your absence and I embrace it like a long lost friend. Lonesome nights and lonely days aren't ended with your presence, for you cast a shadow longer than I can imagine. Lost in the darkness I fall into silence, uttering nothing more than a gasp in the night. Air fills my lungs and that same air escapes like you did once I uttered your name. Disappeared from my bosom, away from my touch, you ran. You will remain a wish, a failed attempt, a wasted breath. You remain.