Hello Apollo, where should I begin?

I want to get a few tattoos. I want to get the Keywork, from Coheed and Cambria, on my left pec. I want to get the Trapt Symbol on my side. I want to get the words "Tell Me The Truth", from ADTR's song Heartless, across my chest. And "I Don't Believe the Lies", from DGD's song And I Told Them I Invented Times New Roman, on my back. And right now thats it. But before I get these I want to tone up a bit. I need a partner in working out. Anyone want to take that spot?

I love ADTR, I think they are still my favorite band. Now I still have to give Trapt props, since they got me into music. Headstrong hooked me and when I got their CD I listened to it so much it got a crack in it. It eventually exploded in my moms computer, so I had to buy a new one. That CD was my favorite album ever. Then I started to get into harder and harder music. Not really liking heavy metal and screamo in the beginning. Then after awhile they grew on me. Killswitch Engage being one of the first ones I listened to after seeing the My Curse Video on Fuse's Metal Countdown. I picked up ADTR at FYE after one day I went in and they were playing it over the speakers.

Music is a big part of my life. I don't play any but if I had the time and motivation and the tools I would def start playing guitar. For now I just love listening to Music all the time. I always have my Zune player with me and when it's dead my day sucks. I fucking hate radio.

That's why all my tattoos are music related because two of them look cool and the other two speak to me or are something that I really want out of life.

Whose influence are you under now?

The friend zone won't be my coffin.....

Currently my list is full of impossible odds. And I'll tell you why.

1. One likes men ten years older than her.
   
2. One doesn't even know my name.
3. One lives in NC.
4. One lives in OH, three hours away, goes to college in a different time zone, and is totally into my roommate.
5. One just broke up with her ex and is still getting over that.
   
6. One isn't attracted to me that way.
7. One lives in stupid Dayton, and likes someone else.

All these among other failed attempts that I don't want to talk about. I go after the wrong girls all the time. I'm shallow then I get deeper. I'm only human though.

It's all about Natural Selection. I don't want to breed with a fat girl, with an ugly girl, with a dumb girl, with a religious girl, with a Desperate Move. I would hate myself and my kids would hate me.

Sorry if you are one of these numbers. Now you know I like you or am interested in you and would like to be more than just a friend.

I'm a just a fool for you and I think I'm going crazy....

I'm not a party guy, I'm not a one night stand guy, I'm not the guy that likes to hook up, I'm like Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. All I want is a girl that I'm attracted to, that I can tolerate and that can tolerate me.

No wait not tolerate, someone I can spend the whole day with and not be annoyed by. Someone I can have fun with and be serious with. Someone that isn't religiously bound. Someone that is intelligent, isn't a partier, likes some of the same things as me. Someone that makes me smile just when I see them. Someone that can stand to be more than friends with me.

It's hard for me to find someone. I spend alot of time going after girls that aren't into me. In the past I've gone after girls that do something that I say would be reason for me not to date them. Hell I fell in love with a girl that is a Christian. I dated a girl that did drugs, and almost hooked up with a chick with a kid.

I'm looking for someone that isn't any of those things. I'm picky in a way but I think we all need standards. And most of my standards are make it or break it cause I know I won't be happy with breaking any of those standards.

It seems sadly these days that good girls are slowly becoming few and far between. The hot ones are whores, the cute ones are either not single or christian, and the ugly ones are either whores out of neccessity, really dumb, fat, or a combination of those.

I know a few girls that still catch my eye. But I'm not sure I catch theirs.

And the world falls apart, right in front of my eyes....

Hannah Hampton, you cursed me. I know it. You cursed me. I always believed that over time relationships would get longer. Not shorter. My first one was two months, at the end of high school. Then I dated you, for six/seven months. After you I dated someone for a month, roughly. After her my next was only TWO WEEKS!

You cursed me.

Unless, I'm not cursed, I just haven't found another one like you. Someone that makes me happy that I'm attracted to that actually likes me back. Likes me enough to go past just being friends. I know that when we made that leap it was good until about month five. Being that young, 18, and trying to have a girlfriend with no job, and never being that close to a human being before it messes with your head and your heart.

I realize now that I took you for granted sometimes. I also realize now that if I could go back and fix the things I messed up we'd still fail. You being a Christian, and me being an Atheist. It would have ended eventually. I just know that what you gave me I'll never forget. You gave me an ear to talk to, a hand to hold, eyes to fall into, a smile to cherish, and a personality to love. A person to love.

I haven't come across another Hannah Hampton yet in my life. I don't know if I ever will but if there is another, I'll do my best not to hurt her. I'm sorry for how it ended, I'm sorry for our differences, but I'm not sorry we feel in love with each other. I'll keep you in my heart until the day I die. I know that much.

"And (Jonny Craig) told them (he) invented Times New Roman"

But now you know that I am cold
(Take me out now, I've dropped the mast down)
And now I am found
(Take me out now, I've dropped the mast down)

Duck down, then hide, behind the file cabinet
Duck down, then hide, behind the file cabinet, down
Without ever letting go I knew you'd gone
Duck down, then hide, behind the file cabinet
Duck down, then hide, behind the file cabinet, down
Without ever letting go I knew you'd gone astray
Stranded here in this cold atmosphere.
Waiting for the lifeless words to come from your mouth
Enduring every sound

This is not why the cast is hollow
Sending the rats to follow
Under the weight of all these eyes
Fry

But now you know that I am cold
(Take me out now, I've dropped the mast down)
And now I am found
(Take me out now, I've dropped the mast down)

I lay without understanding
I don't know why I feel this way
Oh lay down girl take my world
I know why I can't see your face
I've placed every mole there is to place on your wasted body
Oh, lay down girl and take my world
I know why I can't see your face

As the window left shattered now
We saw the withered body try to shout
You thought the price of your life was devout
And told us some things you can’t live without
And was this what was best for us
And was this what was best for us

Just let it show (Rest where you ought to be)
(Block out your misery)
I’ll bring you far (Wait for the call)
Well I’ll go for it (You left in the hallway)
I’ll beg you when you know (People they change)
(And I would still be ashamed)
I’ll beg you when it shows (To let the weight of the world)
Well I’ll go for it (Rest on your shoulders)
I don't believe the lies (I’ll fight until the war is over)
I don't believe the lies (I’ll fight until the war is over)
I’ll die for you (I’ll fight until the war is over)
(I’ll fight until the war is over)
I don't believe the lies (I’ll fight until the war is over)
I don't believe the lies (I’ll fight until the war is over)
It’s staged for you (I’ll fight until the war is over)
(I’ll fight until the war is over)

Left at my feet rests the soul of my brother
Vengeance will fall for the deeds of another

Days roll on, we know the price we pay......

Being an Atheist has taken me away from any religious hindrance. My life and thoughts aren't clouded by fantastical stories of life and I'm not hindered by an invisible all knowing being that is supposedly my maker and the maker of everything.

I can't and will not ever subscribe to this farce. I am too intellectual to believe that my existence is based off some sort of fairytale. I let my life be ruled by science, reason, and truth. Not blind faith. Not some philosophy based off an all knowing omnipotent being.

To me religion, and the belief in some sort of higher being is just, for lack of a smarter word, retarded. I lose respect for people that believe in a god or gods. Yeah its nice to think that our lives are planned out and that we have a helping hand in life by our "Creator".

However, life as we know it sucks to much to be blessed by the presence of a god. Earth is in shambles and is heading to its inevitable end. Humans destroy everything we see, including ourselves. Some countries life off the destruction they cause to their inhabitants, i.e. Africa as a whole, The Middle East, Bosnia/Serbia, and other countries.

Adultery, Homosexuality, and blasphemy are at an all time high, yet I haven't seen many people stuck by lightning. Unless you want to call the Touchdown Jesus burning down as a Blasphemy kill. As my facebook post said, Either Touchdown Jesus was Blasphemy, Zeus is real, or Atheism just got a new ally, Lightning. I also believe that Las Vegas is a modern Sodom and Gommorah, well I take that back if anything Amsterdam is more of a bad place then Las Vegas and I think that town still exists. Hmmmm what strange thing. Wouldn't you agree?

Alright lets get to the point. To me religion now is just a crutch for weak, dependent people to get through life without some sort of real meaning other than they need to live their life for god. Someone I know actually as a quote that says "You only have 1 life, live it for God."

Why the hell would I life my one life (If we do only have one that is) for Mr. Invisible? Fuck that.

Next, to me religion in the beginning was created for a few different things, which don't really apply anymore.

One- To explain the important questions, How did I get here? Why am I here? Who am I? How should I live my life?

Two- To keep the uneducated masses under control. And to keep certain cultures people alive.

Now the problem I see with this Science has answered so many important questions and has so many explanations and so much evidence now then it ever did about the Earth, and its inhabitants. I know that even science has its holes but at least the rest of it has evidence supporting its claims which religions do not.

I think that the moral standard of the western world has dropped a few bars since the 1950's let alone the moral standards of life back in the first ten years AD. "But Matt, aren't the morals that Americans have based off of religion?"

Yes, I'd say that they are. But however my argument is that good morals don't have to be related to a religion or a god. We as humans just need to understand how life should be lived. The golden rule, Treat people how you would like to be treated, is not just from Christian belief. It exists in pretty much every other modern culture on this planet, I say modern because un-advanced native cultures still exist in the dark places of the world. And by dark I mean devoid of technology.

We'll leave the world behind.

I can't even begin to put into words what the vast space outside our planet makes me feel. I feel love, joy, fear, anger, awe, sadness, excitement, an adrenaline rush, insignificant all at once. Looking at photos about space, watching shows about space, reading about space make me feel this way.

I love everything about our universe. I love everything about the existence of it. The size of this universe makes life on this planet unimportant to me. I think if I go back to school It'll be for space science.

Here is a link I stumbled on via, stumbleupon.com

http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx1G8GWS

You need to check this out. It made me feel so small and yet I want to envelop myself in its glory. If you don't know by now I'm and Atheist, which I will discuss more in another blog post, and I absolutely love SPACE!!!!!!!!!! Science is my life after DBZ and writing. I want so much to be able to explore the great unknown.

When I was younger I always wanted to explore. In fourth grade a few friends and I said we'd explore the rain forests when we grew up. I want to explore space now.

I implore you all to learn something new about space. If you are atheist, christian, or anything else pick up a book, watch a show or just Google space. You'll learn something interesting I guarantee it. And you don't have to be a Physics major to understand it either, if you have and open mind. I almost cried after looking at those photos, I felt so insignificant and inspired at the same time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAwBQmv1Dk8

"Hold my hand we're gonna blow this place, we'll take our chance out in outer space." Karate High School

Watch my whole town attempt to wake me.........

Armor For Sleep. They take me back to an easier time back when writing stories about ghosts and fantasy was all I needed. I dreamed of love from a beautiful girl, getting a second chance to change the mistakes I had made. This story I wrote back when I was 16 still sits in a folder in my room. Uncompleted unfulfilled. I want to finish this short story but I don't know an ending. After I rewrite what I have I'll let you read it. I'd love some fresh feed back.

Like I said earlier, I had a moment of nostalgic bliss when I read through some old Myspace comments from late 2005 early 2006. Stepping five years into the past is a doosy. I still remember reading some of those posts for the first time. Life in the real world was so different back then.

I miss the past. I long for the past.

My eyes grow tired looking in both directions of time. Trying to live for the future instead of the past. But realizing that living in the now is what I need to do. Oh woe is me.

I dream to make believe. I live for my dreams. They are all I have to give me hope and give me motivation.

If you haven't heard any Armor for Sleep and you like post-hardcore bands give them a listen.

We will never sleep cause sleep for the weak, No we will never rest till we're all fucking Dead.

Humans Humans Humans. Why the hell are there so many of us? We are too smart for our own good. We built this world that cradles and nurtures stupidity and weakness. We've made it too easy to live. Our population is booming the whole world over, even in places that shouldn't have that many people, Africa for example, to begin with. I'm really surprised this planet didn't kill us off all at once yet.

If the mega volcano under Yellowstone park erupted the whole planet would be devoid of life after the ash rose into the atmosphere covering the whole planet in an unbreathable cloud of dust smoke and ash.

Or if some meteor strikes our planet, we will be vaporized in the seconds after its impact. The immense heat emitted from its impact will burn the whole of the Earth. No life will survive.

If for some reason the sun were to get to the end of its life when humans still exist on this planet, our whole planet would be eaten by the sun, along with Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Jupiter would become the body with the most gravity in our solar system, it would probably become the center.

If North Korea decided, "Fuck it" and just launched their Nukes then we would be living in the movie "The Road". Which if you haven't seen that movie all I can say is, It is the most depressing film about the apocalypse I have ever seen.

But if all else fails someone will cry Religious apocalypse and Call for the end of humanity because God told them so.

No matter how it happens the Earth probably wouldn't mind the absence of humanity. Lets just take all the smart ones and move to space away from all the idiots.