Lost in the Fray

Full of self loathing and a knack for degradation, Doug never had a problem with making himself feel worse. He had woken up late for school for the tenth time in two weeks. He knew he needed a new alarm but he couldn't get the motivation to purchase one. It didn't fall into his purchasing "essentials". That mostly consisted of snack food, new CDs and a book or notepad. Something that helped him escape or made him feel a little better.

His running late wasn't the thing that made him upset though, it was the fact he had anywhere to go at all. It was so troublesome to go to school everyday in his mind. He didn't care about the school work and only had one friend, Fred, that he could even stand.

So this morning he decided he'd just skip altogether and visit the graveyard on the edge of town. The only place he didn't feel completely hollow. Because he felt as alive as the people rotting away down there. They had something in common and it gave him a strange comfort. Plus his grandfather was buried there.

Doug made his way out of the house, past his older brother, Scott, his legal guardian, ever since their dad was taken to jail. Scott, was indifferent to Doug and his comings and goings, the bills had his full attention. So Doug slipped out like a ghost, unseen, unheard, unnoticed and headed across town with his notepad and CD player.

The attention Doug never received cut into him slowly like a dull knife under the weight of a 2 ton boulder. Crushing and cutting him. That's probably why he felt half alive most of the time. This giant boulder dull knife combo was draining him, but he has no way to combat it. He just sloths around letting it slowly consume him.
Thankfully though he felt less pressure at the Sunny Vale Gravesite. He didn't feel judged or unnoticed by the graves. He felt better. Mostly due to the proximity to his grandfather even if it was just his skeleton. He was the only person that gave a shit that he breathed.

Doug crossed the small town watching the folk bustle about. He never understood how people could put so much effort in doing things that cause stress. That's another reason why he hated school. It was his second year as a junior and he grew more and more tiresome of his tenure there. He failed first right after his grandfather died two years ago and he couldn't see any point in trying to pass.

"Douglas, your grades have been in the tank this past semester. How are things at home?" His English teacher, Mr. Goh pulled him aside. He was of Asian decent and had a grey beard. Doug liked him, mostly because he enjoyed Doug's stories.

"Things are fine, I guess. I must just be going through a phase." Doug always played off his problems, not wanting to be a bother since most people in his life couldn't care less about his issues.

Doug often thought about possible futures for himself on these excursions to the yard. Today he dreamt of living in a cabin, writing. Away from all these obligations and stress. And hopefully away from the pain.
He opened the gate to the graveyard as the future faded from his head. He'd just sit and talk to his grandfather and write. As he made his way up he smelled something sweet in the air. Perfume. Who else would be here at this time of day, he wondered. He slowly walked up the hill and caught a glimpse of a person sitting by a gravestone. Julia?

(Part 2)