Self-worth is an easy enough word to define. It's pretty much self explanatory. But what do you do when you have none? What do you do when it's all gone, or never was there to begin with?
Do you just let people use you? Do you hold onto stupid lies that make you feel happy? Do you lie to yourself to make it seem things aren't as bad as they seem?
If you're like me then it's a resounding yes. Holy shit, yes. When you have no self-worth people walk all over you, but you think you're not worthy of better treatment. When you have no self-worth you take what you can get from others, even when it's bullshit and lies. When you have no self-worth you hate yourself for wanting things that hurt you, just because they are right in front of your face.
I have no self-worth.
I let you use me for your selfish needs, time and time again. I let your lies embed themselves within me, making me feel they were all I was good for. I let myself repeat this cycle.
I have no self-worth.
I don't know when to say enough is enough, I need better for myself. I don't know when to walk away from a relationship that is killing me from the inside. I don't know how to open my eyes and see the wrong as it's coming straight for me.
I have no self-worth.
The past repeated itself tonight. I was fool enough to let it happen. The past has been repeating itself for years. I was stupid enough to think I was better. The past will continue to repeat itself.
I. have. no. self. worth.
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