Til We Meet Again

I want to truly lose touch with people. Distance myself with those I'd never see everyday. So that when in the future if we do meet again, it will truly be a great experience. A rekindling. Social media has robbed this from us. Being constantly connected to people we don't necessarily see or hear from anymore.

I still have "friends" from college I have not and probably will never talk to again. The time and things that brought us together was so distant from now there is no way we are the same people we were back then, and if we were to meet now I doubt we'd have much to talk about.

What makes them a friend then? The fact we shared the same spaces and a few short interactions or experiences?

Does that mean everyone you share an elevator with or buy a drink for in a bar or every taxi driver you talk to on a trip longer than ten minutes is your friend?

I don't think so.

My generation, fed and held together by social media stimulation, has lost the meaning of what a true friend is. "Friend" isn't a number with which to judge your relevance or popularity. A fact that has always been true but more so now when people have 2000+ "friends" online. Or millions of followers.

When did your existence warrant a cult following? How many of us are actually worthy of that kind of exposure? And how many of those people are actually friends?

What metric do we measure a friend now? Is it the amount of times they like a post, or share a funny picture?

Are you still truly "friends" if you don't answer their messages late at night when they want someone to talk to?

Is passing by their daily spewing of nonsense fulfilling to your friendship?

I've been thinking recently about these things as I've been thinning out my own list of "friends" online. People I've added for my bands exposure. Women I've added just because I was trying to date them. Friends I've kept for longer than needed because, we were friends once, shouldn't we still be friends now?"

Online mediums have conflated these dead relationships to something they aren't. If you haven't talked to your college roommate since college yet you still see his posts online about his dog, are you really friends? Or are you simply a voyeur?

That is what this whole system has turned us into. At first they were a simple, easy, quick way to stay in contact but now they've morphed into these windows we peer through and gladly showcase our everyday lives for the world to see and judge.

The person sitting across from your profile on a screen is no more your friend anymore than the person standing next to you at the bus stop, save for the fact the computer screen showcases more of yourself to the world then we normally share. Because they are our "friends".

I won't deny I've received joy from being spied on as well as spying on others through the glass barrier. But I'm starting to realize how unhelpful it can be. I've decided to cut back on my own sharing and to cut back on my own spying.

I've also decided to cut back on "friends". Lest I forget what a true friend really is.

A person who will answer the phone in the middle of the night if you call, a person who will pick you up on the side of the road or let you crash on their couch. A person who lends an ear, a buck, or a helping hand without asking for anything in return. Not just a number on a screen or a picture in a profile.