Why after years and plenty of dismissals do you return to my thoughts? Entering my dreams and making feelings resurface. How did a blink of an eye turn into something that keeps returning over and over again?
Why am I paying any credence to any of these thoughts? I doubt they mean anything more than just regurgitating old feelings. Feelings that haven't been strong for almost a decade.
Is it the fact that the thought of you for so long was something I attached so much to? Is it because the prospect and the idea behind our chance meeting hold so much weight to my romantic idealist mind? The fact we met for the briefest of moments and weren't tied down by harsh realities until the moment passed?
The memory of that night is faded and warped by actions taken since then but I guess the underlying romance of it persists like a blinking light, the battery slowly dying, succumbing to the darkness around it.
I haven't wanted you in years nor do I believe that there would be anything for us if we were to meet again. But the dreams still come at the most random of times.
No contact for almost two years and yet.
It's annoying to say the least. I wonder if you'll persist inside me for the rest of my life. I wonder if all my lost loves will haunt me and taunt me. If you and a few others who've occupied such a large part of my heart will walk with me in my dreams forever.
I guess the hurt comes from not having any one of you walking with me while I'm awake.
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