Will Well

 taken on the whole i can't reconcile my feelings about my life or the things that exist within it. 

there appears to be a blackhole where my soul used to be. i remember great pain existing deep in my chest that would pulse with each breath and drain my will. that has subsided but with that dismissal i'm left without other feelings. 

i used to rage or wax poetic or lament in these pages but that has become a lost art. 

i'm failing even now to replicate it in trying. 

what has stifled my thoughts and feelings? a dam on my heart? a clog in my soul? a desecration of my creative will? 

i long for love and loss and pain and pleasure. i long for nights spent wondering about the future. nights i hated in the moment, that i envy now in the present.