I looked at some pictures today that some friends posted on facebook. They were pictures of a girl I knew in highschool's wedding. Alot of people in attendance were people I considered friends in highschool but that I don't really talk to anymore. One being an ex. One being a girl I considered my best friend of the female persuasion. And others that I would make laugh and vice versa.
We all make choices that effect the lives we will lead. We lose out on certain situations that define our friends lives. We lose friends and gain new ones. We move to new places and lose opportunities in other places. We grow up even when we really don't want to.
I'm headed for a cross roads in my life. I have so many choices ahead of me and I'm not sure which path to take. I could possibly go to four different colleges in two different states. I could live with different people and be closer to or farther from certain people I consider important in my life.
The stress is getting to me and I don't know which path will make me happy or will be what I want to do in the long run. I don't really want to pick one and then change my mind half way through. But as it gets closer to the end of the year that choice looks more and more reasonable even though on the inside I don't want to do that.
Ultimately my choices effect me and me alone. I just wish I could make all the choices. Split myself into four and go to every place at the same time. Go to the AI Charlotte, Go to App State, Go to NKU, and Go to EKU all at the same time so I can cover all bases. This is impossible however.
Recently though the choice to go to North Carolina has been slowly becoming less and less what I want. My original plans that I had in mind in June after I visited are gone out the window. Nothing fell into place like I wanted and I don't really want to head there now.
Some people might get upset at this, me for one, but my heart isn't in this idea as much has it had been. I felt down to my bones that it was what I was supposed to do. Now I feel like it would be a wasted venture. More and more I think on it I don't think I'm ready to leave all my friends behind for something that could possibly fail horribly.
I need to think more on the choices I need to make. Give me any advice. It is always greatly appreciated.
Matt, it is your life and you need to make sure you are doing this for you. If you going to NC would be a good opportunity, then go there. screw whats making you think twice. Your friends will always be there. They just want you to do what is best for you. Make a pro/con list. Works for me when I make decisions. you have friends to bounce off ideas of. use them. thats what they are there for. It is a big decision, but which ever path you choose, you will come out on top at the end. there are no ways to fail here unless you give up. Its all up to you matt. You decide.
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