Driving Force

There have been very few times in my life where I've felt an extreme urge to complete something. A driving force and an unalienable motivation to complete a task. Most recently this was manifest in my first trip to England.

I needed more than anything to go and do whatever it took to get there. I quit a job, took on two more, worked constantly, slept terribly, didn't eat, sold my stuff, and saved up my money to make sure I could make the trip. I had a singular drive to do this, more than I've ever felt to accomplish something.

Even then there were a lot of mental obstacles to overcome but despite those they didn't hold me back from doing what I needed to. I felt it deep in my soul that I needed to do this. And I did it.

Now again I'm at the point where I wished I had unadulterated motivation and drive. Sadly it is mostly absent. I'm at a place where I need to make a choice, a life altering choice but I'm floundering. I wish I had that spark I once had to push me forward.

Maybe it's there but the winter is keeping it away. Or maybe it isn't because the driving forces aren't strong enough to make a blind fury in my soul.

For now I'm making plans, setting up goals, and attempting to save my money. We'll see what the future brings.