Someone Else's Sins

All this baseness. I wish to wither away completely. Old joys hold no sway on my heart any longer. The day hath passed to night and another day is dawning to replace it. Only faint memory remains and with each passing moment the memory fades. It becomes a shadow of its former self and causes me only pain. A throbbing disdain that rushes to the back of my eyes with each new remembrance. I yearn to jettison these woes completely but I am not the master of them, not yet. They ebb and flow just out of reach to push them away and send them to the abyss. A nagging in my mind that echoes past hopes, drowning out my will to move and see brighter sunshine over the hills. The sounds produced in the echo confound my heart and emblazon my hate. Lack of caring doesn't wholly relieve me of these burdens. I still cling to the threads of the past, not willing or simply incapable of cutting them free for good. Once the connection is made it's as if hooked to bone and sewn into the fabric of my being. To cut them free would be to cut apart my own soul. To cast them away would be to send away all my hopes and futures. To say goodbye is to shut the doors I had swung open with a smile and heart full of love. It is cold now in that hall where the door once stood. The walls constrict, not letting me move from them. There's no escape. A recourse exists: burn the structure down. But where is the tinder? Where is the match? From whence will I conjure a flame strong enough to destroy this place? Not in my soul, for that flame has gone out. It's weathered its final storm. Now the ashes are snuffed out. Cold and base. All that remains.