I finally took your picture from my wallet. I've had it for almost ten years now. The small part of me that felt it might be necessary when we finally got together has finally been overshadowed by the larger part that knows it'll never happen. The part that knows it was foolish to think you and I would ever be together.
I was never in your sight even from the moment we met. Despite the fact I pined for you nothing ever came of my silent affection. You were more than beautiful to me.
Now that I think on it though I realize you probably weren't worth that kind of praise.
I fell in love with you through a profile pic and a profile song. The color green and the words to All Around Me, playing on repeat as I stared. The affections of a 16 yr old boy pouring forth into the universe hoping they'd reach you and have you come to me.
I loved you. I loved you more than the girl I dated during those years. I loved you more after each time your own relationship failed. I even believed I'd love you despite the fact you're a single mom now and those you know me well, know that's a make or break fact.
I've tried and tried to win your affection but it was for naught. Though silently over years your picture stayed in my pocket along with the wish that I could won day show it off as the proof of "my girl".
Those days are over now. We haven't really spoken in months. I haven't heard your voice in years. I've never felt your embrace. What was it I fell in love with? The image of your beautiful face? The fact you were almost utterly unattainable? Or was it just my foolish fantasies playing me a fool? I think that's the explanation.
We were never meant to be more than a passing phase of friendship.
I accept this now.
I'll move on from this.
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