it takes its toll

when I stop to think
even for a fleeting second,
the fears manifest
consuming me
faster than a rip tide.

i've lost more
than I ever imagined.
now I'm grasping
for a new normal,
that I can't seem to reach.

each new day brings
a new wave of tension,
brought on by the past
and it's losses.
i can't bear these crosses.